What is Rhythm? Busting common misconceptions

We hear a lot about rhythm in early childhood circles, yet it remains elusive for many people. Often, we find a suggested rhythm chart and assume we are supposed to wake up one Monday morning and attempt to follow it morning to night all week. Have you tried this? It’s exhausting and usually doesn’t work. All things considered, it’s no surprise that many of us aren’t sure what rhythm is or how to create it. Or, even worse, we’ve given up on the idea altogether.

In this blog post, I’ll give you an overview of what rhythm is (and isn’t!) and clear up some misconceptions that may be holding you back from creating a rhythm that actually works for your family. 

What is rhythm?

Once, I told an acquaintance that I was working on a rhythm workshop, and he asked me if I was a music teacher. Many people think of music when they hear the word “rhythm.” Music has rhythm when it has a steady and predictable beat. This beat holds the song together. While you won’t learn about musical rhythm in this blog, it does make a great metaphor for the rhythm we want to create in our daily lives. Like a steady beat creates rhythm in music, a consistent daily and weekly flow creates a rhythm at home.

Rhythm is the flow of your day and week.

When we talk about rhythm in terms of our life, we are speaking of how the elements of our days flow. Our day has a rhythm when the parts unfold in a predictable order. For example, your day has rhythm if your child knows what to expect when they wake up, bedtime has a similar flow every night, or what you do after school each day is always the same.

Rhythm has layers.

Let’s consider a typical song we hear on the radio. The song has several layers: a steady musical beat and a repeating refrain, or chorus, between stanzas. The repeating portion of the song is the first part we learn. It doesn’t matter what happens in the other lines; we know the chorus is coming, and we jump in and sing as soon as it begins.

Like a song, the rhythm of your life has layers. While we usually focus on our daily and weekly rhythms, there are also seasonal, monthly, and yearly rhythms. You can even zoom in and look at the flow of the smaller parts of your day (what happens in what order during bedtime, for example).

I want to clear up some misconceptions about rhythm:

Rhythm is not a schedule. These two are often confused, so let’s take a moment to clear up the difference.
A schedule is based on clock time and is often externally imposed. Your job or school has a schedule. You schedule appointments. These happen at a particular time on a specific day.
Rhythm, on the other hand, is based on flow and order. It is loosely based on clock time but not dependent on it.
Let me explain with an example. We wouldn’t create a rhythm that said to have breakfast at 8am and then to have chore time from 8:45-9:05 and then a morning walk from 9:10-9:35. That’s a schedule. A rhythm looks more like this: every morning we wake up and have breakfast then do our chores and then go on a walk. It could also look like this: every day after school, we have tea and snack at the table together….every Saturday morning we have pancakes…every night before bed we read a story and sing a song and then go to sleep.

Even the busiest and most chaotic lives can find rhythm. You don’t need a rhythm for every moment of every day to experience the benefits of rhythm. Even one or two “steady beats” in your day or week will have a positive effect.

Rhythm benefits adults as much as children. We often focus on our children and the benefits for them, but a rhythm benefits adults just as much.
I am amazed each time I make an effort to create a new rhythm in our day or week--I see how much it benefits me and eases some of my own overwhelm. [add link to the benefits of rhythm blog post]

The main point of rhythm is connection, not finding slots for all the tasks and chores we have to do. Yes, we can add these tasks to our rhythm, but that comes second to finding times of connection. (Spoiler alert: It’s easier for all of us to get the tasks of life done when we are more connected.)

Pre-created rhythms rarely work. It’s improbable you can take a pre-created rhythm from someone else and make it work in your life. Our individual lives and all the moving pieces are just too different. Additionally, it’s nearly impossible to take up a brand new rhythm and follow it morning to night seven days a week. If you’ve tried this and it hasn’t worked, you’re not alone, and it’s not your fault. This is simply too many changes for a human to make a once! Change is much more likely to happen in small increments.

So, how do you create rhythm?

Like writing a song (actually, I don’t know anything about this, so this metaphor might stink), start with one or two consistent beats of rhythm as your foundation and build from there. Wait until your initial “beats” are solidly in place, and then add new layers of rhythm. Build your rhythm one beat at a time, and you’ll create a rhythm for your family that works (and actually sticks over time!).

As you get started, remember that rhythm is about flow and not a schedule. Consider your daily and weekly rhythm, as well as the rhythms of the smaller parts of your day (I encourage you to focus on mealtimes and bedtime first). Resist the urge to create a Pinterest-perfect rhythm chart that maps your day from morning to night. Instead, build one rhythm at a time. Learn about my method of creating rhythm when you watch the video in my blog post, “Creating Rhythm/Getting Started.”

Would it be awesome to have someone hold your hand and walk you through the whole process step-by-step? Wish granted. Our Rhythm Workshop teaches you how to create, implement, and maintain a rhythm that you love. You’ll build a rhythm one “beat” at a time, creating a foundation that will last throughout your kids’ childhood.